Fifty Things I've Learned at Fifty.

Well it happened. I've hit the half century mark. December 30, 2015 will come and go like all the 18,250 days of my life, and tomorrow I will be fifty years and one day older.

I thought a lot about what I should say on my 50th birthday. It's better than the alternative crossed my mind for a hot second. Then there's you're only as old as you feel-- but there are days when I feel like I'm seventy and days when I feel thirteen. Instead I decided to jot down fifty things I've learned in the past fifty years--things that are true for me.

50.  Ask for what you want.

49. There will always be moments in life so packed with joy you’ll find it impossible to contain the happiness in your heart. Be in the moment and remember it for the days you want to cry and shout, “my life sucks!”

48. Be gracious and thankful. It’s important to let people know you appreciate them.

47. Understand your mortgage, stock portfolio and how loans and credit cards work. Bankers and accountants are invaluable and are happy to explain anything you find confusing. It’s not silly to ask—it’s silly not to ask.

46. Vote. You don’t have to tell everyone your political viewpoint—there’s a reason you vote in private—but exercise your American right.

45. Anyone who’s willing to put their life on the line for yours without knowing you is an altogether different kind of human being. Make it a point to thank first responders and military folks for their service.

44. Dove soap. There’s nothing better for your skin. There’s no need for fancy or expensive cleansers—just Dove soap. Spend money on moisturizers and don’t neglect your neck.

43.  Don’t worry about the dirty house or laundry. It’s gonna be there tomorrow and when it’s clean, it will get dirty again. Life is messy and it’s perfectly okay that your house isn’t always perfect.

42. There are going to be times in life that frankly—suck. People you love, trust, and look up to, will lie to you, disappoint you and even die. This is because life is imperfect and so are we. You’ll never get over these things, instead you’ll get past them. Life isn’t fair and it never will be, but learning to work through the unhappiness leads to finding happiness again.

41. If you put positive energy into the world you'll get it in return.

40. Exercise. No matter what.

39.  Eat the cake. No matter what.

38. Electric Hot Rollers = Big Hair. I love them both.

37. It’s okay to wear your pajamas all day every now and then. And Netflix won’t melt your brain.

36. Forgive yourself. That imperfect stuff goes both ways. *see #42.

35. Make plans for life knowing the path from point A to B isn’t a straight line but a rollercoaster. Try to enjoy the ride.

34. Mentoring is as much a gift for the mentor as it is for the student.

33. Read. Anything and everything.

32. You are always stronger than you think you are—mentally and physically.

31. Make friends and make time for friends. They’re the family you get to hand-pick.

30. From Mozart to Metallica, music is good for your soul.

29. Let grudges become non-factors in your life. Holding onto them gives them undeserved energy.  It’s okay to remember, but better to not to care or even better? Forgive.

28. There’s no substitute for siblings. Sharing parents and a childhood is powerful so stick close to them.

27.  There is room in a lifetime for more than one soul mate.  Believe me, I have first hand experience.

26. There is room in a lifetime for more than one career. Believe me, I have first hand experience.

25. Wear sunscreen. Believe me, I have first hand experience.

24. Caffeine and alcohol are best in moderation.

23. Wrinkles and gray hair are badges of honor. You earn them. Every. Single. One.

22. Lists. There’s power in marking things off of them.

21. Drink water.

20. There’s no substitute for a pet. A dog kiss can turn your day around quickly.

19. When your children leave for college, it's sad, but being an empty nester has its benefits. As Dr. Ruth once said, the first week you walk around crying—the second week you walk around naked.

18. When your children start doing things for themselves is the very moment they appreciate all that you’ve done for them in the past.

17. It’s important to splurge every now and then. My favorite? Shoes.

16. Heirlooms that are passed down don’t have to be extremely valuable to have worth. Sentimental value trumps monetary value every time.

15.  Don’t wait for someday because it will never come. Start now. Start today.

14. Get to know your grandparents. They are chock-full of sound advice and they won’t always be around to guide you.

13. The words, I love you are powerful. Use them.

12. Road rage will not get you to your destination any faster.

11. Trust your instincts. If it feels wrong, it probably is. The little voice in your head is God whispering in your ear.

10. Don’t worry about what others say about you. If it’s nice, you don’t need to know and if it’s bad, you don’t want to know.

9. Don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff—but seriously…don’t sweat any of it.  Are you alive? Are your loved ones? Are you safe? Are your loved ones? If you answer yes, it’s a good day.

8. Don’t look back. Give up the what ifs, the couldas and shouldas. It’s wasted time you could be using to move forward and make new and exciting plans.

7. Write down all the important things you want your children to know in a journal. Even when you’re gone, you’ll be around to tell someone not to wear white after Labor Day.

6. You can’t please everyone. Don’t try and don’t lament over not doing so.

5. Smile. The simple act will change your attitude.

4. Hugs are powerful and a positive exchange of energy.  I tell people, “I’m a hugger” which is my way of asking if they care if I hug them before I go for the embrace. I’m rarely turned down.

3. Laugh. Laugh at everything that’s funny—including yourself.

2. There will be times when you’ll feel unworthy of love. Whether you tell yourself that or someone else tells you, know this: it’s a lie. If you are breathing, you are worthy. Let me say that again. You. Are. Worthy.

This brings me to number one.

1. Love yourself and accept who you are. You are uniquely made and there’s no one else in the world like you.



*Kris Calvert is an author of Romantic Suspense, Paranormal Suspense, Horror and Contemporary Romance.

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