What Could You Do With One More Day?

This February you will find an extra day in on your calendar. That’s because 2016 is a Leap Year.

I spent some time asking people—old and young—if they had an extra day in 2016, what they would do with it? Only one person knew I was referring to Leap Year. The others took it as a philosophical question. But when I explained that there were twenty-nine days in February, their answers stayed the same. These were the top two:

• Sleep

• Catch up on XYZ (work, laundry etc.).

It struck me as odd that given an entire extra twenty-four hours this year, the majority of people wanted to do more of what we all do every day—work and sleep.

Then while at the airport, I posed the question to an older gentleman. His answer changed everything for me. He didn’t understand the question exactly the way I posed it—mostly because my Southern twang didn’t necessarily translate seamlessly with his Brooklyn accent, but it didn't matter. He understood something more important.

“If I had an extra day, I’d spend it with my wife. She’s been gone seven years now and I still miss her like crazy every day. She loved when I did little surprises just for her, for no reason at all.  You know?  I’d leave a note for her or bring her a cannoli from her favorite bakery. It would make her really happy. I’d do that. Just to see her smile. Yeah, that’s what I’d do for sure.”

So here is my challenge: on Monday, February 29^th, the day we get once every four years, what if we all used our extra day to do a little surprise for someone—for no reason at all?

I’ve heard it said that love is giving and expecting nothing in return. Most of us do this everyday—but love is sometimes an inward emotion. We think the people around us should intrinsically understand our feelings toward them. But what if we spent Leap Day 2016 showing love outwardly?

• Call an old friend.

• Mend a long-standing grudge.

• Send a card or visit someone who’s unable to go out into the world.

• Bake someone a treat.

• Bring someone you’ve been thinking about flowers.

• Tell someone you love how thankful you are they’re in your life.

• Bake some cookies and drop them by your local fire or police station.

• Draw a picture for someone (even if it's stick people).

• Tell a co-worker how much you appreciate them.

• Or, commit a random act of kindness for someone you don’t even know.

You don’t have to spend money to give people a piece of your love—a piece of your heart. Time is precious, so when we’re given an extra day, perhaps it’s smart to use it just as my friend from Brooklyn suggested: to make someone else happy—just to see them smile.


*Kris Calvert is an author of Romantic Suspense, Paranormal Suspense, Horror and Contemporary Romance.

See her books here: Kris Calvert Website
Buy her books on Amazon here: Kris Calvert on Amazon
Join her mailing list here: Kris Calvert Mailing List

Join her Facebook Group here: Kris Calvert's Books & Bits

Fifty Things I've Learned at Fifty.

Well it happened. I've hit the half century mark. December 30, 2015 will come and go like all the 18,250 days of my life, and tomorrow I will be fifty years and one day older.

I thought a lot about what I should say on my 50th birthday. It's better than the alternative crossed my mind for a hot second. Then there's you're only as old as you feel-- but there are days when I feel like I'm seventy and days when I feel thirteen. Instead I decided to jot down fifty things I've learned in the past fifty years--things that are true for me.

50.  Ask for what you want.

49. There will always be moments in life so packed with joy you’ll find it impossible to contain the happiness in your heart. Be in the moment and remember it for the days you want to cry and shout, “my life sucks!”

48. Be gracious and thankful. It’s important to let people know you appreciate them.

47. Understand your mortgage, stock portfolio and how loans and credit cards work. Bankers and accountants are invaluable and are happy to explain anything you find confusing. It’s not silly to ask—it’s silly not to ask.

46. Vote. You don’t have to tell everyone your political viewpoint—there’s a reason you vote in private—but exercise your American right.

45. Anyone who’s willing to put their life on the line for yours without knowing you is an altogether different kind of human being. Make it a point to thank first responders and military folks for their service.

44. Dove soap. There’s nothing better for your skin. There’s no need for fancy or expensive cleansers—just Dove soap. Spend money on moisturizers and don’t neglect your neck.

43.  Don’t worry about the dirty house or laundry. It’s gonna be there tomorrow and when it’s clean, it will get dirty again. Life is messy and it’s perfectly okay that your house isn’t always perfect.

42. There are going to be times in life that frankly—suck. People you love, trust, and look up to, will lie to you, disappoint you and even die. This is because life is imperfect and so are we. You’ll never get over these things, instead you’ll get past them. Life isn’t fair and it never will be, but learning to work through the unhappiness leads to finding happiness again.

41. If you put positive energy into the world you'll get it in return.

40. Exercise. No matter what.

39.  Eat the cake. No matter what.

38. Electric Hot Rollers = Big Hair. I love them both.

37. It’s okay to wear your pajamas all day every now and then. And Netflix won’t melt your brain.

36. Forgive yourself. That imperfect stuff goes both ways. *see #42.

35. Make plans for life knowing the path from point A to B isn’t a straight line but a rollercoaster. Try to enjoy the ride.

34. Mentoring is as much a gift for the mentor as it is for the student.

33. Read. Anything and everything.

32. You are always stronger than you think you are—mentally and physically.

31. Make friends and make time for friends. They’re the family you get to hand-pick.

30. From Mozart to Metallica, music is good for your soul.

29. Let grudges become non-factors in your life. Holding onto them gives them undeserved energy.  It’s okay to remember, but better to not to care or even better? Forgive.

28. There’s no substitute for siblings. Sharing parents and a childhood is powerful so stick close to them.

27.  There is room in a lifetime for more than one soul mate.  Believe me, I have first hand experience.

26. There is room in a lifetime for more than one career. Believe me, I have first hand experience.

25. Wear sunscreen. Believe me, I have first hand experience.

24. Caffeine and alcohol are best in moderation.

23. Wrinkles and gray hair are badges of honor. You earn them. Every. Single. One.

22. Lists. There’s power in marking things off of them.

21. Drink water.

20. There’s no substitute for a pet. A dog kiss can turn your day around quickly.

19. When your children leave for college, it's sad, but being an empty nester has its benefits. As Dr. Ruth once said, the first week you walk around crying—the second week you walk around naked.

18. When your children start doing things for themselves is the very moment they appreciate all that you’ve done for them in the past.

17. It’s important to splurge every now and then. My favorite? Shoes.

16. Heirlooms that are passed down don’t have to be extremely valuable to have worth. Sentimental value trumps monetary value every time.

15.  Don’t wait for someday because it will never come. Start now. Start today.

14. Get to know your grandparents. They are chock-full of sound advice and they won’t always be around to guide you.

13. The words, I love you are powerful. Use them.

12. Road rage will not get you to your destination any faster.

11. Trust your instincts. If it feels wrong, it probably is. The little voice in your head is God whispering in your ear.

10. Don’t worry about what others say about you. If it’s nice, you don’t need to know and if it’s bad, you don’t want to know.

9. Don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff—but seriously…don’t sweat any of it.  Are you alive? Are your loved ones? Are you safe? Are your loved ones? If you answer yes, it’s a good day.

8. Don’t look back. Give up the what ifs, the couldas and shouldas. It’s wasted time you could be using to move forward and make new and exciting plans.

7. Write down all the important things you want your children to know in a journal. Even when you’re gone, you’ll be around to tell someone not to wear white after Labor Day.

6. You can’t please everyone. Don’t try and don’t lament over not doing so.

5. Smile. The simple act will change your attitude.

4. Hugs are powerful and a positive exchange of energy.  I tell people, “I’m a hugger” which is my way of asking if they care if I hug them before I go for the embrace. I’m rarely turned down.

3. Laugh. Laugh at everything that’s funny—including yourself.

2. There will be times when you’ll feel unworthy of love. Whether you tell yourself that or someone else tells you, know this: it’s a lie. If you are breathing, you are worthy. Let me say that again. You. Are. Worthy.

This brings me to number one.

1. Love yourself and accept who you are. You are uniquely made and there’s no one else in the world like you.



*Kris Calvert is an author of Romantic Suspense, Paranormal Suspense, Horror and Contemporary Romance.

See her books here: Kris Calvert Website
Buy her books on Amazon here: Kris Calvert on Amazon
Join her mailing list here: Kris Calvert Mailing List
Join her Facebook Group here: Kris Calvert's Books & Bits

Ladies, let's take a meeting.

After reading Alexandra Petri’s column “Woman in a Meeting” which was spurred by a discussion she had with a man over Jennifer Lawrence’s essay on gender pay gap, I wanted to—as a woman who’s run her own company as well as been the only female executive at others—share my two cents.

The whole idea behind the column was that women have to be careful what they say or they will come across as angry, threatening or bitchy. So she used famous quotes to illustrate her point.

Alexandra’s quotes are by innovators, leaders, igniters—the kind of folks who speak their mind—that’s why they’re leading. You can easily be a woman and be the boss. In fact there are more of us out there today than there were when I was twenty-two and took my first grown-up job. Now, twenty-some years later, I’m very aware of the women who came before me in the world of business and I am ever grateful that they made it easier for me to do my thing. Hopefully women like me are making it easier for future generations of working women.

That being said, here’s my beef with Ms. Petri’s words: Never, and I mean never, have I been in a meeting with a female executive or business owner who framed their statements or questions with phrases like, “I don’t know. It’s probably crazy. I feel like I’m rambling. I’m not an expert. or I’m sorry.”

F*** that . And I have heard that out of a woman’s mouth in the boardroom and it may or may not have been me.

Is it easy being a female in a mostly male workplace? No. Is it easy being a woman and owning your own company? Nope. It isn't easy owning your own company—period.

Did I take a lot of crap for being a woman? Sure, but that is the price of doing business on any level. There’s crap…and lots of it. The ability to shift through it and take away what’s valuable is, in itself, valuable. And don’t kid yourself—as a leader, other women can be just as difficult to deal with as men. It’s simply hard being the boss.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand where Petri is coming from. As someone who’s been sexually harassed, called “Barbie in the boardroom” or told that I’d never make it, I realize women deal with a different landscape in the workplace than men. That doesn’t mean that it defines us. It doesn’t. In the end I’ve always told myself it didn’t matter I was a woman—because I’m smart, but really because I work hard.

Is it fair that this is the world we live in? A place where men usually make more money than women for the same job or are praised for speaking their mind when a woman is deemed a bitch for speaking up? No.

If I’ve tried to teach my kids one thing as they’ve grown into adults it’s that life isn’t fair. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do or have what you want. You can. You just can’t let anyone tell you, no. Business is business. You aren’t there to make lifelong friends, but if you lead by example I can guarantee you’ll be popular in the long run.

Ladies, if you want something, you don’t have to ask for it. Make it happen. It’s not 1920—the year we finally got the right to vote—it’s 2015 and countless women before you have made more sacrifices than you can image so that you can walk into the “meeting” and not apologize for who you are or what you think.

Be fearless. That is the trait of a leader and a woman. If we weren’t fearless we wouldn’t be where we are today.

If you read Jennifer’s Lawrence’s essay on pay inequality, she blames no one but herself for not sticking up for herself.  She didn’t want to be a whiner or considered bitchy. But business isn’t a popularity contest and if you can’t stick up for yourself and your brand who will?

Finally, I wanted to translate some quotes that aren’t from John Paul Jones, Julius Caesar, Moses, JFK, FDR, MLK, Patrick Henry or any other man They are nonetheless, just as powerful.

“I am not afraid…I was born to do this.” –Joan of Arc

Stand back. I’ve got this.

“Though the sex to which I belong is considered weak you will nevertheless find me a rock that bends to no wind.” Elizabeth I

I’ve got this.

“I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.” –Estee Lauder

I’ve got this.

“We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist.” –Queen Victoria

I’ve got this.

“Growth and comfort do not coexist.” Ginni Rometty, CEO, IBM

I’ve got this.

“Do not wait on a leader…look in the mirror, it’s you.”–  Katherine Miracle, Miracle Resources

“I’ve got this.”

“Option A is not available. So let’s kick the sh** out of Option B.” ­– Sheryl Sandberg COO Facebook

I’ve got this.

“I have a brain and I have a uterus and they both work.”  Pat Schroeder, Former Congresswoman

I’ve got this. 

**Petri's original article can be found here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2015/10/13/jennifer-lawrence-has-a-point-famous-quotes-the-way-a-woman-would-have-to-say-them-during-a-meeting/

Canadians Love their Slang as much as Southerners Love their Twang

Heading to Oh Canada and turning my y’all into an eh!

I’m leaving tomorrow for Canada and Romancing the Capital in Ottawa an event put together by one of my favorite authors, Eve Langlais. But a southern girl heading that far north? What I’ve discovered is that Canadians love their slang as much as Southerners love their twang. Check it out.

Canadian                                          

Washroom or Biffy=Toilet                                        

“I’ll be back in a jiffy. I’m just going to the biffy.”

Southern

Ladies Room=Toilet

“Please excuse me. I’m going to the Ladies Room with Buffy.”

Canadian

Jesus Murphy=An exclamation of surprise

“Jesus Murphy! Do you see how tight his pants are?”

Southern

Lord have mercy=An exclamation of surprise

“Lord have mercy. Hand to heaven, I can see everything God gave him and it is not impressive.”

Canadian

Had the biscuit=Dead or broken

“Mike’s old Lada had the biscuit. It was time for a new car

Southern

Bought the farm=dead or broken

“Well butter my biscuit. Floyd’s done gone and bought the farm.”

And how about that Canadian Cuisine?

Poutine—French fries slathered in gravy and cheesecurds.

Whaaattt? Southerners love anything that is deep-fried and covered in gravy.

 

Ketchup Potato Chips

We love out BBQ and our BBQ chips in the South. I get this one Canada. I get it.

Bacon

Although I’m not into the back bacon (Canadian bacon) my research shows that Canadians love hog. So do Southerners. Get the skillet hot and let’s fry up some oink!

BeaverTail—or Queues de Castor (French) is a fried dough treat that’s shaped to resemble a real beaver tail and is topped with chocolate, fruit and even candy.

This sounds amazing. Wonder if they can make some with pralines?

Tourtière—This is a traditional spiced and savory meat pie from Quebec, made with diced or ground pork, veal, or beef. 

In the South we add some garlic, eat it out of a bowl and call it Burgoo.

I can’t wait to use my new Canadian vocabulary and I will post pictures of everything I eat in the Great White North.

Ey y'all!