After reading Alexandra Petri’s column “Woman in a Meeting”
which was spurred by a discussion she had with a man over Jennifer Lawrence’s
essay on gender pay gap, I wanted to—as a woman who’s run her own company as
well as been the only female executive at others—share my two cents.
The whole idea behind the column was that women have to be
careful what they say or they will come across as angry, threatening or bitchy.
So she used famous quotes to illustrate her point.
Alexandra’s quotes are by innovators, leaders, igniters—the kind of folks who speak their mind—that’s why they’re leading. You can
easily be a woman and be the boss. In fact there are more of us out there today
than there were when I was twenty-two and took my first grown-up job. Now,
twenty-some years later, I’m very aware of the women who came before me in the
world of business and I am ever grateful that they made it easier for me to do my thing. Hopefully women like me are
making it easier for future generations of working women.
That being said, here’s my beef with Ms. Petri’s words:
Never, and I mean never, have I been in a meeting with a female executive or
business owner who framed their statements or questions with phrases like, “I don’t know. It’s probably crazy. I feel
like I’m rambling. I’m not an expert. or I’m sorry.”
F*** that . And I have
heard that out of a woman’s mouth in the boardroom and it may or may not have
been me.
Is it easy being a female in a mostly male workplace? No. Is
it easy being a woman and owning your own company? Nope. It isn't easy owning
your own company—period.
Did I take a lot of crap for being a woman? Sure, but that
is the price of doing business on any level. There’s crap…and lots of it. The
ability to shift through it and take away what’s valuable is, in itself, valuable.
And don’t kid yourself—as a leader, other women can be just as difficult to
deal with as men. It’s simply hard being the boss.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand where Petri is coming from.
As someone who’s been sexually harassed, called “Barbie in the boardroom” or
told that I’d never make it, I realize women deal with a different landscape in
the workplace than men. That doesn’t mean that it defines us. It doesn’t.
In the end I’ve always told myself it didn’t matter I was a woman—because I’m
smart, but really because I work hard.
Is it fair that this is the world we live in? A place where
men usually make more money than women for the same job or are praised for
speaking their mind when a woman is deemed a bitch for speaking up? No.
If I’ve tried to teach my kids one thing as they’ve grown
into adults it’s that life isn’t fair. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do or
have what you want. You can. You just can’t let anyone tell you, no. Business
is business. You aren’t there to make lifelong friends, but if you lead by
example I can guarantee you’ll be popular in the long run.
Ladies, if you want something, you don’t have to ask for it.
Make it happen. It’s not 1920—the year we finally got the right to vote—it’s 2015
and countless women before you have made more sacrifices than you can image so
that you can walk into the “meeting” and not apologize for who you are or what
you think.
Be fearless. That
is the trait of a leader and a woman. If we weren’t fearless we wouldn’t be
where we are today.
If you read Jennifer’s Lawrence’s essay on pay inequality,
she blames no one but herself for not sticking up for herself. She didn’t want to be a whiner or considered
bitchy. But business isn’t a popularity contest and if you can’t stick up for
yourself and your brand who will?
Finally, I wanted to translate some quotes that aren’t from John
Paul Jones, Julius Caesar, Moses, JFK, FDR, MLK, Patrick Henry or any other man
They are nonetheless, just as powerful.
“I am not afraid…I was born to do this.” –Joan of Arc
Stand back. I’ve got
this.
“Though the sex to which I belong is considered weak you
will nevertheless find me a rock that bends to no wind.” Elizabeth I
I’ve got this.
“I never dreamed about success. I worked for it.” –Estee
Lauder
I’ve got this.
“We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They
do not exist.” –Queen Victoria
I’ve got this.
“Growth and comfort do not coexist.” Ginni Rometty, CEO, IBM
I’ve got this.
“Do not wait on a leader…look in the mirror, it’s
you.”– Katherine Miracle, Miracle
Resources
“I’ve got this.”
“Option A is not available. So let’s kick the sh** out of
Option B.” – Sheryl Sandberg COO Facebook
I’ve got this.
“I have a brain and I have a uterus and they both
work.” Pat Schroeder, Former
Congresswoman
I’ve got this.
**Petri's original article can be found here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2015/10/13/jennifer-lawrence-has-a-point-famous-quotes-the-way-a-woman-would-have-to-say-them-during-a-meeting/
No comments:
Post a Comment